averageisnotenough:

You’re mad at me? You should be fucking thanking me. Yes, she cheated on you with me, but if she hadn’t come to my place, she would have gone to her ex’s. You have no idea how close she was to doing that, until I convinced her I could fuck her better than him. So let me ask you, would you have preferred that she fucked that big dicked douche again, or me with big strap on? 

Somehow your sister always ended up fucking your girlfriends. And she always managed to get you to thank her for it. Even though  she was the one to encourage them that maintaining friendships with their exes was healthy. That there was no way you’d be jealous. That you were sweet and would always be gentle and kind. Maybe too sweet. Did your girlfriend ever like a rough, domineering lover? Oh well, bad news about that, your sister would say.