Waiter, part 4

It had been about five minutes and she hadn’t
come back. I had stopped reading her texts a while ago. I hadn’t seen them all,
but it was too demoralizing to continue.

Where was she? Stupid question. I knew. With him.
Were they actually just fucking in the bathroom? Would that be their first
time? I didn’t know anymore if the idea repulsed me or turned me on.

I started browsing my phone. Beta male.
There it was in my Google search, though I didn’t recall choosing to type it.
Some stuff came up about wolves. Followed by bullshit pickup artist schlock.
Then MRA babies. Finally Urban Dictionary.

“The opposite of Alpha Male. In modern society
an Alpha Male not only requires physical prowess but also confidence and attitude…The
beta male tends to be smart, quiet, and non-confrontational.”

Well there was certainly something to that
between he and I. I was so non-confrontational I let him do all this.

“If lucky, beta males can get a hot chick once
in her 30’s, after she’s tired of fucking Alpha Males, and decides to settle
down with a beta male for money stability. Alpha Males get everything, beta
males get the leftovers. It’s a little thing called ‘Life’…”  

Childish, and yet, I kept reading. It was like I
was flogging myself with these definitions. Burning myself with shame. There
were several in defense of the intelligence and sensitivity of the beta male. I
only skimmed those. I was aiming for condemnation.

“To be a bitch like male.”

Bitch. So that’s what we both
were now? His bitches? The notion thrilled me as much as it disgusted.

What is the role of a beta male?

Some advice column came up, answering a question
from a woman dating a beta.

“Alpha males are the ones who will always follow
up quickly, make the first move, and claim you as their girlfriends. Beta males
are the ones who have more kindness than confidence. They’re not nearly as
assertive. They’re so passive as to be, well, almost feminine in nature…when
you’re with a beta male you’re ALLOWED to be more Alpha…if he’s a true beta
male he’ll be THRILLED that you’re taking control.”

That certainly described Kindra and I. She was
very much in control. I appreciated it. Had she been yearning for a take charge
male this whole time? We’d spent months moving from friends to romantic
partners. She seemed to liked my care and thoughtfulness. Yet this guy had
swept in right under my nose, hit on Kindra, gotten her number, and claimed her
as his “bitch”. In mere days.

She seemed to like that, too. Enough to stop
fucking me. Enough to let him use sexist slurs for her and take possession of
her. She wanted to be dominated.

Still no sign of her.

What does tumblr say? Alpha bull, eh?…

”A beta male’s penis is like the wings on a
penguin. It does not serve any meaningful function….but just as flightless
birds serve a purpose in the world, so does the beta male. He just needs to
learn his purpose early on or else he will be frustrated later. Just like a
penguin who has been told it can fly.”

My purpose? What would that be? To sit aside and
watch him take my girlfriend? To drink his urine?

“I advise college-aged girls who are interested
in cuckolding to have a an ‘emotional boyfriend’ and a ‘physical
boyfriend’ …explain she has an emotional attachment to the beta male,
depends on his support, but that she is still young and wants to explore
physically…the young beta male who takes readily to the idea of being her
emotional-only boyfriend will quickly develop into a supportive cuckold, as the
men she choose as sexual boyfriends, given their age, are full of masculine
energy and aggression. This reinforces the beta male’s role constantly.”

Cuckold? I knew that from Shakespeare but not as
a form of relationship. Were Kindra and he growing my cuckold horns even as I
read up on my new role? I had sort of been thinking she was going to throw me
aside soon. Yet she had kissed me so warmly just now. Even while dressed up for
him. Even while coming here just to see him. Even just before
going off to fuck him. Was I, her emotional-only boyfriend, a cuckold
now?

She still wasn’t back.

Next was a series of tips on showing deference
to other males, in front of your partner.

“She will recognize that you, the beta male, are
voluntarily establishing yourself on a lower position on the hierarchy than
other men. This will simultaneously attract her to those men, and repel her
sexually from you.”  

Hmm.

“Hey sweety! No, I didn’t fall in. Sorry for the
delay.” Kindra came up and kissed me. Deeply. Did her mouth…taste like semen?
As our tongues intertwined I knew. Pulling back, I took appraisal of
her. Rather than having straightened up, she was disheveled. Hair messy, a
strap of her dress nearly falling off her shoulder, makeup smudged.

And of course he was coming right behind
her, with menus. Out of his pocket, I could swear I saw a pair of black lace
panties poking out. Kindra definitely had some like that.

I hopped right up.

“Thank you, Sir!” I exclaimed, taking the menus
and extending my right hand. He looked at me quizzically, as if evaluating an
unexpected threat. But he returned my handshake. Very firmly. Ow! I
smiled and rubbed my hand. “That’s quite a strong grip you have,” I said.

“Thanks. I work out.”

“I can tell,” I said admiringly. “So, Kindra
tells me you’ve been very nice to her when we’ve been here. She was hoping you
could be friends. So…could you sit down for a minute? Or…would that break
protocol?”

I gestured to the side of the booth I had been
occupying. Points one and two in “How to Show Deference”. Call the Alpha Male “Sir”
and offer him your seat. Why the hell was I doing this? Kindra and he
both looked confused. And nervous. But he recovered his composure
quickly.

“I have a minute,” he replied, taking a seat
next to Kindra instead of the one I offered. He sat very close.

 I
think I heard her gasp while he settled in. She tried to hide it as a hiccup. What
had he done?

“Kindra said your name is Dax?”

“‘I liked ‘Sir’,” he said, glaring at me with a
wolf’s grin, predatory yet wary.

“Haha, you got it, Sir. Thanks for
sitting down with us. It’s a weird request, I know.”

“Yes, we shouldn’t keep him,” Kindra said,
giving me a confused, pleading look. But just then she let out another stifled
gasp. Her face reddened and she struggled for composure.

“The pleasure is all mine, I assure you,” he
interjected smugly. His right hand was under the table. No doubt if I peaked
I’d see it between Kindra’s legs.

“Oh! Let me get you some water! It will be a
treat, you being served for once. I know where the pitchers are.” I walked over
to a nearby side table and grabbed a full water pitcher and a glass. Walking
back over, I positioned myself so I couldn’t see what was happening under their
side of the table and poured him a glass. I returned the pitcher before sitting
back down. Point 3: offer him a drink.   

Kindra was struggling to keep her face straight.
I pretended not to notice. We chatted about mundane things for a while. I kept
trying to be subtly deferential to him. Praising him, acting like I was trying
to impress.

Or was I acting? The weird thing was, what started as a mad thought had quickly
become compulsion and then nature. I wasn’t acting anymore. I really did
want to impress him. I wanted him to praise me like a puppy. Like a bitch.

That’s when I noticed a foot in my crotch.
Kindra? No, it it was a boot, not her dress shoes. The toe pressed firmly and
relentless in. He was crushing my balls. It was my turn to struggle to keep a
straight face. It was anguish.

“Kindra, tell me more about your field of
study,” he asked nonchalantly, “What was your thesis?”

“Umm, ahhh, well.” Her face was flush. She was
having  a hard time getting words out. “It’s ahh, kind of boring…for
dinner, ummm,” she placed her palms on the table top and took a deep breath,
“talk.”

“Come now,” he insisted, a curious
intensity to his words, ”I’m interested. Come. Now.”

Kindra was staring down at the table now,
fingers splayed, taking deep breaths. At the same time, he began
pressing harder into my balls. I thought they might break, turn to paste. Was I
dying? I was going to pass out. Or cry. Kindra started sputtering. Moaning?

“I, ahhhhh, ohhhhh.” Her breathing was fast now,
shallow. She opened her mouth again as if to speak but instead her lips formed
into a silent O before she clamped them back together. Her eyes closed tightly
and she shook her head no. Her face flushed further and her torso convulsed.
Several times, in pulses.

I knew exactly what had happened. An innocent
onlooker might have missed it. Mistaken it all for extreme shyness. Maybe a
panic attack? Would an innocent version of me have known? Kindra was shy at
times, could be awkward. But I knew. The mind-numbing pain in my crotch
was melding with arousal. Fuck. I was a beta male that knew his girlfriend
had just been brought to orgasm in front of him, in public, by an Alpha who was
simultaneously destroying my manhood. Fuck. It felt amazing.

In a moment Kindra’s breathing returned to slow,
deep breaths, but she didn’t look up.

“Well, I won’t pry. Another time. But I should
get going. Thank you for your hospitality.” With that he removed his
foot from my crotch and took Kindra’s hand, kissing it cordially when she
looked up to meet his gaze.

—————————————————–

We both sat there in silence, breathing and
trying to regain our calm. Finally I spoke up.

“That was nice.”

“Yes,” she said flatly, not looking into my
eyes.

“Sorry to spring that on you.”

“It was fine.”

“He does seem nice.”

“Yeah.”

“You acted…uncomfortable when he asked you
about your thesis…”

She looked into my eyes then, appraisingly. Was
she wondering what I knew? Could I possibly have missed that? She had been
discreet, right? Considering? I kept my face neutral.

“Just suddenly felt shy. And boring.”

“Aww, but you’re not boring. You’re amazing”

“Thanks,” she said, and smiled with real warmth.

“And see? I can be friendly. I can make
friends.”

“Haha. Yes, good boy.” She intoned
jokingly.

“Arf arf.”

“Very good boy.” She scratched me under the
chin. “But I thought you were a jealous doggie about that particular pitbull?”

“Well, you know, a golden retriever just can’t
help being friendly to a fault.”

“You’d be a terrible guard dog.”

“But great at licking hands. And feet.”

“Yes… I suppose I never need doubt your
affections.”

“Loyal to a fault, too.”

She was silent for a moment.

“What if I kick you?” she asked, in a seeking
tone.

“I’d be confused. I’d give you those
guilt-inducing puppy dog eyes,” I replied airily. “But I’d forgive.”

She paused again.

“What if I didn’t feel guilty, though? What if I
liked kicking you?” she asked seriously.

I gazed back at her and considered.

“Maybe I like being kicked?” I responded
earnestly.

“You’re too good for me.”

She reached up and held my chin.

“No, my Master is the best.”

She let her hand slide downward, caressing my
neck and then wrapping her fingers around, grasping it. Just like he had.
But lightly. Not painfully. With a confident air of ownership.

“I need to get you home and show you your
place.”

“We haven’t even ordered.”

“Who’s the Master, doggie?!”

I whimpered and inclined my head toward Kindra.

“That’s right. Now you’ve been bad. I need to
take you home immediately and rub your face in it. But first leave a tip for
the nice pitbull you befriended. A good one.”

I pulled out a five and dropped it on the table.

“Better than that.”  

I pulled out a twenty and dropped it on top.

“Paltry. Show him he’s the Alpha.”

With a whimper, I emptied my wallet: two more
twenties and three ones.

“Adequate. Carry more cash in the future.”

As far lost in the role-play as I was, still a
ping of fear struck me. Sixty eight dollars was a lot of money for me. But I
bit my tongue.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Master.”

“Sorry, Master.”

Kindra grabbed my hand and dragged me out of
there. As we passed the register Dax gave us a bewildered look.

“Leaving so soon? I hope it wasn’t something I
said.”

“No, Dax, you were, um…very good,” Kindra
said. “But this one’s been bad. Apologize.” She directed the last to me. I was
a little taken aback but complied.

“I’m terribly sorry, Sir,” I mumbled sheepishly.

“Good boy. See you later, Dax.” Her tone
was mildly flirtatious and she winked at him. Was I supposed to see
that?