“He’ll probably be so devastated that he’ll cry. Then I’ll crawl over, comfort him, and lick up the tears. Then I want you to start fucking me again from behind while I coo at him, telling him he’ll never get to fuck me again. But I’ll keep his Mother’s ring, thanks. If the bf puts up a fight, you can hurt him a little. Or a lot. Whatever it takes. xx”

tf-warlock:

Lumps of coal in stockings just isn’t as much of a viable threat as it
used to be. The naughty list gets bigger and bigger every year. Santa
was forced to bring in an outside consultant to evaluate his current
nice/naughty gift/coal system. Eventually with the help of yours truly,
The Warlock, we were able to conclude that certain problem adults were
most certainly the cause of increasing global naughtiness, and a more
strict punishment should be in order to disrupt their negative influence
over the holiday. Maybe after a few years helping pull the sleigh they
would better appreciate the true meaning of the holiday.

If not, the elves were already working on plans to build a larger stable for a few new reindeer…