Penelope was younger, innocent and had strong feelings about fidelity. She had a bad habit of getting jealous. It took a while to ease her into being comfortable with your female friends at first. And whenever anybody mentioned the existence of sex, especially kinky sex, she’d get very red-faced and have to leave the room. So of course she was pretty vanilla and hesitant, but overall the sex was good, you loved each other, and at least you didn’t have to worry about her cheating!
Or so it seemed. Things started getting weird after Penny mentioned being terribly shy in high school. So you told her about being awkward and your old bully that used to pick on you. At first she cried – actually cried! She was so horrified that you’d been teased and beaten up. You soothed her, saying it was all in the past. She seemed to calm down.
The next week she acted a bit oddly. You found Penelope staring off into space a lot. One time she just pinched you! Out of the blue! You yelped and asked Penny why the hell she did that. She apologized and sheepishly said she was just ‘curious what it would be like.’
A few days later she asked about your old bully again.
You tried to hold back, but she wouldn’t let go. What did he say to you, how hurt did you get, how did you feel about it? She broke you down, and you told the whole painful saga. From grade school rivals, to relentless pranks that became a general campaign of harassment, to the time he beat you so badly you ended up in the hospital. By the end you were crying about it. You’d been repressing the feelings of shame and helplessness for so long. Penny listened to the whole thing with rapt attention, absently biting her lip and nodding along. Though weirdly she didn’t comfort you when you cried, but instead said she had to run off to the bathroom. She was gone for a while and looked flushed when she came back. Had she been crying? Her eyes weren’t puffy or wet, though. “I’m sorry sweetie, that’s so awful.” She hugged you then, and her hands kinda smelled of sex?
Penny only got weirder after that. On the one hand she was obsessed with this bully. She was way angrier than you were at him and made you give her his name so she could look him up. She found Joe on FaceButt. “God, what an asshole! Look at this smug jerk.” You really didn’t want to. It just re-opened the wounds. “Of course he’s a manager at some fancy company. This type of prick gets off on having lots of money and lording their power over others. I bet he takes credit for the work of his employees and negs his female assistant to try to get in her pants! I bet he grabs her ass and HR says ‘oh that’s just Joe’! I bet he cheats on his wife! I bet he has sex with the wives of his employees just to feel powerful! Oh, of course he posts pictures oh himself shirtless at the gym and the beach! ‘Look at me, I’m a middle manager running from his mortality by getting weirdly buff in his late thirties!’” Penny was getting worked up, so you made her log off.
On the other hand, she was loosening up in surprising ways. She had always run from it, but now she asked your friend Kim outright about BDSM. In detail. Penny was wilder after that. Once while riding you she suddenly slapped your face with full force! She came immediately. That was only the beginning… And out of bed, she began sweetly calling you one of the insults your bully used to use. It really hurt. “Oh it’s just a joke, you sissy bitch!” she replied and giggled uproariously.
The really insane part, though, was Penny when decided she needed a part time job alongside her college studies (even though you offered to support her). She ended up as an assistant at Joe’s company! “Huh?” she replied when you told her, “Oh yeah, I guess I’d forgotten. It’s a big company. I’m sure I won’t see him.”
The gods were cruel, though. She was his assistant! “He’s really nice now, actually. I feel silly I got so worked up. I guess people can change,” Penelope said. You were devastated and felt so vulnerable. You even told her how bad you felt and she still coaxed you into having lunch with him and her. He had changed…into exactly the kind of misogynist jerk Penny had imagined! You showed up at their office and saw him yell at his staff and sexually harass a female intern before coming over to you.
“Babydoll, introduce me to your little boyfriend.”
“We’ve met, Joe,” you replied coldly. Joe took your hand, squeezing far too hard.
“Oh! I totally forgot!” Penny piped up, “You knew Mister Adler in high school, right?” She turned to him, all bubbly “Sorry that slipped my mind, sir!”
The rest of the lunch was similarly surreal. Joe treated Penny like a dim bimbo, while she giggled and played the part. He pretended he couldn’t remember you very well and complimented you on choosing “a fine piece of ass”. He followed with “can I borrow her sometime?, haw haw.”
When you asked her about it later, Penelope acted like it wasn’t anything at all. “Don’t be such a dramatic sissy bitch, hehe. Sorry that’s one of Joe’s favorites when dealing with beta men.” Beta men? “I guess he’s really rubbed off on me, hehe. No, I didn’t forget how you knew him, I just figured you wouldn’t want him knowing that I know all about how he humiliated you as kids. I was just trying to spare your little feefees.” You couldn’t just let that go and started telling her how much he’d hurt you and what an asshole he had proved himself today.
*smack!*
She slapped you! In the middle of your tirade. Hard!
“Feel any better, my sweet little beta boy? You needed to calm down down.”
You were so shocked. She just walked away.
Over time, Penelope’s bad behavior only increased. And her part-time gig started taking up more hours until it was upgraded to full time. She was gone for late nights. Her grades suffered and she was talking about dropping out. Not to mention, you had sex less. When you did, she always wanted you to eat her out first. Then she’d ride you and call you names until she came. Sometimes, you didn’t get to. If she let you come, it was on yourself and after she gathered it and made you lick it off her fingers…
It was months later you got an email from Joe, at his work address:
Hi you fucking cuckold sissy,
By now you should have worked out that your girlfriend is my bitch. And what a bitch she is! I had no idea who she was when she showed up at the office. But this young piece of ass cooed at every compliment and insult I threw her way. A bitch like that is a rare find. You need to cherish the ones that love you when you’re kind and love you more when you are cruel. I’d tell you to hold on tight, but I guess that ship has sorta sailed…
Not that I’m taking her! I have a wife and family, after-all. No, I’d prefer you keep looking after her for me. I’m counting on your beta bitch instincts to lead you to eagerly lap up an alpha male’s leavings and bask in the warm glow of your unfaithful girl’s contempt.
When she begged me to go to lunch with her boyfriend, I just saw it as an opportunity to gloat over another guy who’s girl I would soon claim. So much better to have a face to imagine humiliated and dismayed while I defile his little flower. But what a fucking miracle to find my old whipping bitch standing in my office! Ever since you tried to stop me from hitting on your girlfriend in high school and I beat you unconscious, I have been keenly aware of the pleasure of being an alpha. Of taking what I want without remorse. Did you know your girlfriend left your hospital bed that night, teary eyed, and came right to my place to berate me? Did you know I just laughed and told her what a sissy wimp you were and that she should just admit it made her want me? Did you know I fucked her every hole that night while she thanked me for hurting you? Goddamn highlight of my life.
Until Penny agreed to work late with me the first time, that is. I negged her so hard. I told her she was a dimwitted doll who’d never rise above secretary. I told her she might as well just admit it and strip down. Get on her knees where she’d be spending so much time throughout her career. She trembled as she took off her clothes. I was afraid she’d pass out or cum right then. That’s when I revealed I wasn’t just an old acquaintance of her little boyfriend, I’d bullied him and put him in his place, the emergency room. I could do the same for her.
“I know.”
This was a surprise! You shocked too, little strumpet?
“I know exactly who you are and what you did. And it makes me so. fucking. wet. Ever since he told me how you tore him down, physically and mentally. How you stole his girl. Since that moment he revealed his true nature, I have been a changed woman. I have cum every day thinking about what you did to the love of my life. My sweet beta boy. I will adore him forever, but since that moment – these breasts, this pussy,” you bet your ass she was stripping, “my whole body, my very soul, have belonged to you.”
I of course fucked her face, bent her over my desk, came unprotected in her pussy. I told her she was a good girl. A clever girl for figuring out her place in the world.
“Hehe, thanks, Master! But this silly little airhead just wants to be your slave and cum dump for as long as you’ll have me. Oh, and if you find time to humiliate my true love and make him your punching bag again, I’d really appreciate it.”
Since my “experience” I’ve only masturbated a few times and always to “safe” things. The fluffy sweet lesbian porn that rarely makes this blog, that kind of stuff. Tonight I came to my “rape”. And it was the most horrible, beautiful thing. I feel disgusting and wrong and like I ruined my life. I hate myself. And in that, I feel so liberated.
So, backstory for those who haven’t followed the saga. A few months ago I got an anon asking me if she should fuck a guy. She also has a homophobia fetish and so I encouraged it. My idea was “Hey, I’m a chicken shit, I’ll live vicariously through her”. After a few weeks, she sends me pictures (and babe if you’re reading this I still want the others) and her story. At the end she tells me that honestly it’s worth a try. Now, I’ve had this blog for a while and it’s encouraged me that maybe my fantasies aren’t as rare or strange and she comes along and shows me by her example that it can be done.
As a lot of you know I’m paranoid as shit about this fetish being tied to me in the real world, so it took some work to follow up in my heroine’s footsteps. But I know some kinky little bitches and so I got in touch with a domme I trust. She and I set some ground rules and emergency signals and she found a male. See, a crucial piece of the fantasy for me is rape. I can’t consent to be invalidated, that kinda defeats the point. A couple weeks ago she sends me a text telling me to take a personal day and that was it. It was gonna happen. I was fucking terrified. I actually cancelled but she talked to me and calmed me down. She said she was going to be there the whole time. So I went through with it.
The cool part was this – a couple days before it happened she actually set up a thing where he bumped into me. He hits on me while I’m getting lunch, I politely decline, he notes my rainbow bracelet and makes some homophobic comment and I go about my day. I think most lesbians will tell you that this sort of thing is just daily life, call it Wednesday and just move on. But it was a beautiful touch for this.
Because a few days later, using a key I gave my friend, the guy lets himself into my place. He and my friend hid out on my balcony for I have no idea how long and when he bursts in it takes me totally by shock. I mean, even kinda knowing it was coming I freaked out. My friend helped him restrain me at first and she held me while he did a little “Remember me, slut?” bit that, honestly in retrospect he overacted like hell but in the heat of it really got my adrenaline running.
He pulled out a knife and cut my top down from neckline to waist. I didn’t have a bra or anything, so he roughly handled my tits. I remember him saying something like “no wonder you fuck women, what man would want these” before slapping my chest hard. He asked if I ever sucked cock, and that’s where I really got into resisting. I struggled against my friend. I screamed. I spit at him. That seemed to piss him off beyond the whole drama of the scene. I’m kind of proud of that.
So, I’m just saying this, I am really not wild about the taste, fellas. I was pushed onto my knees and he unzipped. I was commanded to suck, I didn’t, I was hit, I didn’t suck, and so my friend, his little helper, literally pried my mouth open and he shoved his cock in. I’m giving straight girls credit here, cause I figured this was a “just be there” kind of thing, but this guy didn’t play. He grabbed my hair and just started fucking my mouth. Honestly, I don’t know if when he said my blowjob was worse than masturbating if that was a role-playing thing or if I honestly was that bad at it, but, uh, no, straight girls, I take back some of what I’ve said about you.
He declared he was going to get use it of one of my holes and he made for my jeans. I tried to scoot away, but he got me and I fell. I admit that most of the struggle was show but it bruised my ego a little. He had my friend pin my arms down with her legs (she was in a skirt, no panties, clean-shaven. I figured this was a little gift for me getting through the blowjob in one piece) and I felt him slap his cock against me. Holy fuck.
So again, I’m paranoid, but to give you an idea, I’m tall, blonde, not super pale but no one is ever going to wonder if I’m white, I have, let’s say, modest tits. I have great legs, running is my favorite way to clear my mind. I HATE the feeling of body hair. With a passion. It feels so itchy and gross if I don’t keep everything waxed or shaved. I’m laying naked on my living room floor with a woman (who I hadn’t even expected to see) pinning down my upper body and she hasn’t said a word. Then there’s this guy, also naked, holding my legs open and pushing into me. This is a moment that’s, like, seared into me.
Let’s not kid ourselves, okay, there’s an allure to being penetrated. And, I mean, no guy is ever going to be a vibrator, but there are some things about real cock that, like, I get the appeal. I’m not about to go looking for it, but I certainly understand you if you do. I know he was saying things about my true purpose and stuff but honest, I was way too wrapped up in the moment to actually listen. He fucking pounded me. I was worried I wouldn’t get that “rape” intensity, and no, this guy delivered. And this is where the mindfuck started too, because my friend starts to rub her pussy.
He noticed me noticing, and held himself fully inside me for a moment, like pressed hard against me, and seeks to me “She loves it when she gets to help fix dykes.” And like, now we’re fucking with the reality. I have a duck in me. This isn’t a time I can critically reason. And now she starts to talk, finally.
Things like “I thought [name] was the real deal, but we got her. Just like with [random girl name]” and I letter found out that this took so long to set up because they came up with this detailed backstory just for this part. I start to panic. And, uh, if it’s right panicking during sex is actually pretty fun. Ask asphyxiation fetishists.
So at the height of this fear and them talking about their serial rape of Midwestern lesbians, I cum. And woah did I cum hard. And she laughed at me when I did. “Not a lesbian anymore.”
I want to preface this part by saying that I still am not physically or romantically attracted to men, I would never date a man, and having sex with one is nothing more than a fetish. Its like fucking a dog – a girl might do it but no one thinks she’s “caninesexual”. But being cum inside is a transcendent experience. I’m kinda indifferent to the rest of it outside the context of rape, but this is the one thing I experienced that I honestly think if I’d never felt my life would be worse for it. Most of the people reading this are straight men, and I really wish I could explain the feeling to you? Like, uh… Okay, you know that happy warmth of clothes fresh from the dryer? If I told you to imagine that being poured over your soul, that might be the right feeling? Seriously, straight and bi girls, help me out. I’m having trouble putting words to it.
So, I mean, this went on a bit. I got tied up and made to watch them thick as they mocked me, I was left with his cum oozing from me. Didn’t get to do anal, but that was my request – guys seem really into it but I wanted to focus on this petticoat part of the fantasy feeling. There was some OTHER KINKS that came up that I might talk about separately. And my friend did the best aftercare, which was super important. He was apparently uncomfortable not being a part of the aftercare because he was kinda a monster in the scene, but that was also by my request. She stayed the whole night. I cried a lot, she washed me in the bath, made dinner, promised me I was still the same person I was before. I’m still [name], I’m still gay, I’m still valid. She made sure that I tested myself a few despite being on protection, she’s been checking on me.
I don’t actually know if I’m the same person I was before? Like, I know my feelings on everything are the same. I guess I just don’t know if I deserve to be me still. I mean, in a way I guess that’s been the core thing I explore here, but I wonder if I’ve crossed a line and I can never be normal again?
Anyway, I’ve been sitting naked on my couch for two and a half hours writing this on my fucking phone after masturbating and I have to leave for work in, what, an hour and a half or so? But I promised you a story. Here it is.
Being a urinal is a great way for a fucktoy to not only serve but also to connect with her owner. Indeed, what could be great for a cock addicted fucktoy than to consume the piss of her owner? Drinking piss however can be, psychologically at least, a rather large barrier for some
The good news is however that this barrier is a relatively easy one to overcome. I have used this method myself on a very submissive cunt who was excited but initially reluctant and couldn’t bring herself to get over that initial psychological barrier, which is understandable as we are raised to regard piss as dirty.
The first step it to purchase some fruit cordial. Doesn’t matter which flavour, blackcurrant, orange etc, which ever your fucktoy prefers. Put a small amount of cordial into a glass, and fill the rest up with piss. Now you have a drink which looks like cordial, smells like cordial and tastes like fruit cordial.
Once consumed the mental barrier is now broken, she knows she is a piss drinking slut, and you can continue reducing the amount of cordial each time, until slowly over a period of weeks, she is left with a glass of pure piss.
You may even find, as I did with the slut I trained, that once the mental barrier is broken, she may not need any cordial at all next time. Once she had drank that first glass the barrier was broken, she accepted she was a piss drinker and wanted the next time for it to be pure piss.
Enjoy. And remember now whenever you are out in public and are caught short, you now have a mobile urinal with you.
Edging fanatics don’t talk about this wonderful pain. Masochists don’t seem to appreciate it. It’s like a kick to the balls one can’t quite recall. Fading, begrudgingly over hours. It won’t let you forget. You are sore, unsatisfied.
ProblemCollectionLove 