“I told them to fuck off.”

“Oh…right. Good. What pervs. Yeah, that would be…wrong.”

“Sorry, I don’t even know why I told you. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable around them. But you should know what they’re like. Really, I understand if you don’t ever want to be around them. I’m not sure I even want to see them after that.”

“Don’t do that! I mean…thanks but, no, I’m, um, comfortable. In fact, I should get back on the horse! Horses. Let me go to your bar night. I’ll be your DD (that’s what guys like, right?). You’ll get to drink to your heart’s content and I’ll be sober enough to fend them off and gain their respect in the process.”

“I don’t know…”

“Fine, if you’re afraid you’ll pass out like you tend to, let’s just have them over. Then you can pass out safely AND I’ll have the gun if anyone really tries to get frisky.”

“I guess…”

“Great! Thanks, baby! I am going to make your favorite cocktail. The knockout!”

It was such a hot plan. you’d been gunning for your friend’s wife for so long. When he suggested a wife swap for a night, you jumped on it immediately. Sadly his wife didn’t do the same when you got back to her bedroom. She looked skeptical. By the time she got it fully erect, she started laughing. It really hurt when she pulled out her phone. Was she going to take shame pictures? This was a nightmare. Wait, no, it was a nightmare when you realized she had facetimed your wife, who was in the middle of sucking off your best friend, in your marital bed. She picked up without letting his, apparently huge, cock out of her mouth. 

“Bitch! I got screwed on this deal! And not in a good way.”

Your wife took a break, jerking him in one hand. “Sorry, baby, but you see what I have to deal with there. I couldn’t let this offer pass me by after the stories you told. But, like, why don’t you just come over? I doubt your husband would mind a second, would you?”

Off to the side: “Hell no!”

“Mmm, that’s more like it. But what do we do with small wonder over here?”

“Leave him. But keep the connection open. I want him to watch.”

“Naughty! Okay, cuck, don’t cum on my phone. If you do, you never get to watch again. Got it?”

Your bride wanted to show deference to the best man, your good friend, so she agreed to his confusing request to have her open the gift in private. She even went along when he insisted she be blindfolded. The gag worried her but he didn’t give her time to complain. She blushed so deeply as he stripped off her dress. When he stole your wedding night consummation, she just went wild with desire. It was all so sudden, so wrong, so hot. He really was the best man, she thought, deliriously.

She’d dropped her pajama pants and tossed them behind the couch without your buddy seeing, so engrossed was he in the game. Your wife, Aphy, snatched the controller from his hands, causing an eruption of surprised anger that died when he saw her bared legs and ass. She was already walking away, “Come play a better game called fuck me without my husband finding out.”

Your friend considered himself a pretty loyal dude, but he never could resist a challenge. You’d only just gone to the bathroom and could be back any minute! He followed her. She walked into the basement and locked the door behind the two of them.

“Make me cum before my husband finds us out? If you can.” Now your best friend was determined to rise to the challenge. In a flash, he unbuckled and let his loose jeans fall onto the stairs as he pulled down his boxers and revealed his impressive, hard cock. If you could have seen them then you would have cursed yourself for telling your wife how Jaime complained that girls couldn’t hand his oversized cock. But you couldn’t see them and your size-queen wife was alone with your buddy, finally experiencing the kind of penis she’d always dreamed about. She’d been wet all evening as she planned this and when she spread her labia for Jaime he easily slipped inside.

Bam! Rattle. BAM! Rattle. Thud, thud, thus. Rattle. Went the door as Jaime fucked your wife into it. Aphy fought hard to not cum immediately, focusing instead on the pain as her vagina was mercilessly expanded. “Fuck that’s impressive!” she cried out.

“What is, honey?” you called back. Shit! “Are you into the good wine? I thought you said we were saving that?”

Your wife whispered urgently to he new favorite lover, “Don’t you dare stop now!” Then louder, “No, honey! But Jaime picked a good one. Really, really good! Fuck! Yes, that’s good! Just like that!” Thud, thud! Rattle.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Nnngh. Jaime’s just teasing me. Not letting me get my fill of this sweet ambrosia. You know how, mmm, petulent I get when denied.” Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud!

“Jaime, just give her what she wants or she’ll throw a real tantrum. I’ve seen it.”

“Yes, nnnnngh, Jaime. Give. It. To Me.” Wham! Thud! Thud! Thud!

“Why don’t you come out here and share just a little?”

“The, mmmmm, door’s locked on us, you dickless wonder! Thus, ahhhh, all the pounding.”

Bam! Rattle. BAM! Rattle.

“Ha! And here I thought Aphrodite was just throwing one of her patented fits. Now I feel foolish. We really need to get that door fixed. Here let me try from this end.”

Just as you started to turn the unlocked door knob, Jaime grabbed it from the other side and held it fast. Aphy whispered, “Just. A Little. More!”

“More, you say?! It’s really not giving at all, I’m afraid.” Bam! Thud, thus, thud! Rattle.

“I think….ahhhhh…just like that! Yesssssss, fuck!” Jaime pulled out of your wife. He had come moments before but kept pounding her until she did. He urgently pulled up her panties. They flooded with leaking semen. Fuck! He pulled off his boxers and put them on Aphy before pulling up his pants and releasing the doorknob. They both fell over at your feet, panting.

“Thank god!” you cried. “Hey, where’s the wine? And…weren’t you wearing pants earlier?”

my-mind-in-black-and-white:

“What the fuck!?” Your burned with rage and panic. You pulled up your contacts and started texting.

“George, you fucking asshole! How could you do this?”

“Um, what, dude?”

“My wife just sent me the fucking proof.! Don’t play stupid!”

“Shit, that sounds serious. But I’m in Toronto on business, remember? I’m sorry man. Frankly I’d bet on Elias if this is what it sounds like it is.”

Fuck! Embarrassing, but George was right.

“Elias! You fucking betrayer! My wife sent me the proof so don’t try to deny it.”


In the end you texted seven friends and none admitted it. What?

You got home from your own business trip the next day.

“I’m sorry babe, that was childish. I was angry after I saw you flirting with that barista and got my brother to take that photo. Just wanted to get a little payback. You know I love you.”

“Sienna! It was just a little harmless flirting! Hardly even that! One joke. But I would never make you think I was fucking one of your friends. How could you do that?!”

Your fiance Sienna ended up crying and sleeping in the guest room. You were too angry to reconcile. Plus you had to leave for another trip for four days. Things would have blown over by the time you got back.


You got a bunch of texts all at once when you stepped off your red-eye flight the morning after. You’d gone to work the next day then gone directly to the airport. You’d had time to visit home but hadn’t wanted to see Sienna yet. 

“I’m sorry honey. I went too far. You know how jealous I can get.”

“Elias stopped by and checked in on me. That’s so sweet that you asked him to even though you’re mad. You really are the bigger man.”

“Amir came by, too!”

“And George! We’re having drinks and talking about jealousy. You’d be proud.”

“PMG! You we’re so right about harmless floating!”

“Flirting! I grew up do conservative, you know. George is really heaping to teach me the difference between harmless floating and hookup flirting”

“Playing Twister! Like middle schoolers LOL” 

“Living room too hot. AC problem? Can’t even keep clothes in! Look at if when you got back?”

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“So drink! Love you!”

“Amir won bet. I guess your not the bigger man LOL”

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“Sorry bro! This is Amir. Guess you were right to distrust us.”

“We taught her it’s not cheating if no one cums inside anyone. And if a guy is bigger it’s proper to show him respect.”

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“Welp, I guess that’s cheating. We told her it’s too late now. George is up next.”

friendzoned-cuckold:

Every beta should have a friend with big dick

This is the whole point about being boastful around your male friends. Make a big to-do about your giant cock and how your girlfriend loves it until your friends get fed up and ask to compare. Then be humiliated as they laugh at your pointless penis and tell you how much they pity your girlfriend. How she needs a real man to show her what sex should be like. 

Then the next time your girlfriend sighs forlornly after sex, fingering herself, and asks you if you can’t find a big cock for her, you’ll know exactly who to call. Crying a little, you’ll ask your good friend to do you a ‘solid’ and fuck your girlfriend before she leaves you.