Tag: milk

princestdiaries:

Son, ever since your father knocked me up I’ve been overflowing with milk. Do you think you could help me out?

“Mooom, you’re so weird. Why do you have to be such a hippie? …uh, fine, do you want me to hold the breast pump or what?”

“Honey, you know we don’t buy mechanical doodads for tasks humans were built for already. Mother nature saw fit to give me this milk early and I don’t want it to go to waste.”

“I guess…I have sort of always wondered what it tastes like, you know? Is that weird?”

“Of course not, sweetie. It’s the most natural. We weren’t meant to steal milk from cows.”

“Okay…cool, I’ll try it. Can’t be worse than kefir. So you want to squeeze it into a jar or what?”

“Baby, I’m not a cow.”

“Okaaay, sooo…”

“Breasts are meant for sucking, son.”

“Gross, get Dad to do it.”

“He’s busy, son. Besides, he’s not my child to nourish. You are.”

“I can’t suck my Mom’s breasts!”

“You already have, honey.”

“I’m a sexually mature adult now! That’s not normal! What if it feels good or something? I’d be scarred for life.”

“Breast feeding can feel very…um…stimulating, honey. Don’t mean to blow your mind. Mother Nature doesn’t create firm boundaries society likes us to think it does. You are my son, but I even I can see you are an attractive young man now. Motherhood does not make me immune from the erotic sensation any woman would feel seeing you walk around shirtless, get sweaty playing basketball, or hug me with those strong arms, your toned pecs pressing into my perky and sensitive nipples…”

“Gosh Mom, you made your point. I’ll suck your nipples. Just don’t freak out if I get a boner. It’s just what ‘Mother Nature’ intended and all.”

“We are all bound to the whims of Nature and our earthly desires, son. This is a safe space. We can express our bodies and ourselves without fear of judgment. …Actually, why don’t you just take your clothes off entirely? Nothing I haven’t seen before. It will help you feel more natural, relaxed, free of society’s artificial strictures. …Good. No, no need to hide your natural arousal. Come here, now. Yes, take my clothes off, fully, would you? Good.”